Tuesday, July 06, 2004

feets don't fail me now

Ugh. I have to work a 10+ hour day tomorrow because Nicole has it off so she can work on Saturday, so they need someone to open and close, which is me, because I'm the only other person trained to do that now that Cheri has gone, and Tim and Ken are both too busy working on cars in the shop or supervising the boys to do tickets (which is what I do.) Not looking forward to that.

But, on the plus side, I only work six hours on Thursday, so I don't have to go in 'til Noon.

My aunt and uncle will be in tomorrow, so I'll get to see them for the first time in a year (They come up here every summer, so it's not that big of a deal). It's nice to get to go up to the mountains to go see them and get out of this town for a while. Plus, we get to eat out at places they don't have here in town.

Weather's finally warming up, and we didn't have rain today like we have had for the last while, so that was kinda nice. It's nice to be able to use your air conditioning, after you paid so much for it.

I'm learning more "managerial" stuff at work every day. Closing duties, like the cash drawer and credit cards and whatnot. I get to boss the boys around, so that's great :) We've got two new ones, plus THREE applicants who came in today. All friends of Mark, I'm sure. Him and his stupid car and stereo system. Ugh. Turnover at this place is incredible. I've never seen anything like it. You'd think they'd hire people who actually WANT a job and to KEEP a job. Maybe that's just me.

Monday, July 05, 2004

Donating eggs

I've been thinking about this for the last year. I want to donate eggs so that other people can have children. I don't want children of my own, but by God, my genes should be running around this Earth somewhere. Kidding. But I really do want to donate eggs. My boyfriend at the time, Kyle, thought this was wholly unethical and a bad thing to do. That, what if in 18 years I had little Andreas coming to my door wanting to know why I did this. Well, first of all, I have no rights towards these children. The couple who is conceiving them is 100% responsible for them. I am not liable towards anything they do, and I cannot be asked to help support the children. They are in NO way my children, even though they are my 23 chromosomes.

Here is a link about the process. I guess you have to inject yourself with hormones, or have a good friend/boyfriend do it for you. I'm a prime candidate for the process; I fall within the right age group, medical history is good, and I'm not at risk for STDs. I'm really interested in doing this, and I have been for over a year now. Also, the recipient family of the eggs pays for everything. All your doctor visits, all the hormones, all the blood tests, the surgical procedure. Everything. Plus, you get a couple thousand dollars or more for the donation of your time, effort, and eggs. Can't beat that with a stick.

The more I read about it, the more I get to thinking about when they say that this is also an emotional procedure. But I really don't know why it would be emotional. I honestly don't want children of my own, but I'd like to help other people out who need the help. I don't think it would feel like giving up a baby for adoption or abortion, even though I don't know what either of those feelings ARE, as I've never even been pregnant. I do know I could do this. I could give myself injections for a few weeks, and I could undergo surgery. (Neither of which I have done, actually, but it doesn't frighten me to think about it. Granted I'm not about to go do this tomorrow...)

I think when I go back to Spearfish at the end of this month to get my shot again, I will ask the lady there about information and whatnot. She will surely be a good source to start with. I can also ask the school nurse when school starts, and my doctor here at home. In fact, next week when I have a day off, I should go see my doctor and ask her about all of this stuff. Yeah.

*insert witty title here*

Today at work was slowww. Goodness. I was suprised Ken didn't sent us home. Things did pick up later on in the day, but for the first few hours, it seemed like a wasted effort.

Hired two new guys today, they will start tomorrow, so that will be interesting. See how long they stick around for.

The fireworks show last night kinda sucked, but I think that's because I'm comparing it to the Pyro-Technics show that happened here last August for a week straight and lasted for hours each night. This year it was only half an hour long, if that, and "synchronized" to some music. Or something. We sat in a ditch to watch them, along with a ton of other people, some of whom were lighting off fireworks in a field of dry prairie grass and sagebrush! Morons. One of them went the wrong way and there were sparks flying all over on top of my car and some that almost hit us. I was pissed.

Gotta clean the bathroom tonight because we have company coming over on Wednesday. Why the shower needs cleaned, I don't know, but Mom says I have to do it. Not like Aunt Sharon and Uncle Bert are going to see it. Psh. Oh well.

Wes is ignoring me right now. So that's great. Really happy for that.

It's buttfreezing cold right now. Been drizzly all day long. Which, yeah, we need the rain. But it's July for crying out loud! It's supposed to be at LEAST 80* outside!! Oh well. Hopefully it will be warmer when the hoser comes out to visit.

Weird Ass Dream

I had some weird dream last night. There were a lot of different cars involved in it. I think my real car, the Escort, was in a wreck. So then I had some little maroon colored car. I was in the car with a few people when there was a big like, tidal wave that came and took over the park or whatever we were sitting in. My car was sucked down some spiral, like when you unplug the drain to the bath tub. We were scared that we were losing air and that water would start leaking in, but we didn't have anything to break the window...so the guy that was in the car with us just opened the door by slamming all his weight against it. Then, once we all got out of the car, we realized that we weren't under water anymore.

Next, that car was ruined for some reason, so Mom, Dad, Ashley, and I went out car shopping. We found this monstrous old red car, but it was a stick shift and was really cool, so I wanted it. Even though at this point my Escort was okay...I don't know.

So I drove it around for a while and really liked it because it drove like my little red Colt from last year. Then we're at some kind of theme park or something. We're playing miniature golf. I think I'm still with my family at this point. The last hole for the golf course was set underwater. You had to chip your ball into this tank that was 8 feet high and hope that the ball fell into the 18th hole. Mom tried it, and it didn't work. Then all of the sudden, Bob Saget from Full House was IN the tank, saying, "No, don't try that. Here." So I tossed him my ball and he lowered it down right next to the hole so that the fan underneath it would pick it up and I got a hole in one. Then I threw a few more in, but he'd left, and the fan turned off, so they just floated around in the water.

I also wondered how much money they made when people threw coins into the tank because there were a lot of pennies there.

Then there were some big stadium stands that I needed to find my parents in, and I did quite easily, and I'm not sure what we were looking at. There was no arena or anything. I think it was just a wilderness type area. 'Twas strange, with some water and maybe a water ride off in the distance. I had some trail mix, and Dad wanted some. He was complaining that the corn on the cob hadn't been cooked yet, but it had, the kernals were just really small. Not sure about that one, either. He asked if he should throw it on the ground under the stands, or hold onto it 'til he found a garbage can. I looked under the stands and there were a couple corn on the cobs down there, so I told him to go ahead.

Then he was asking for the trip home, what we wanted to eat. We only had three meals left. Pancakes, Steak, and something else that I can't remember, but Mom chose THAT one because we'd been having steaks a lot and pancakes were for breakfast. Duh.

Cutting

My sister is a cutter. I saw red marks on her wrist tonight at dinner, and before I could even stop myself, I asked "What's that on your wrist??" Halfway through asking, I realized what it was. But it was too late, I'd already started asking and there was no turning back. She covered it up by saying that they were scratches from Delilah, her cat, and that she's also gotten a cardboard cut at work. But the worst thing was that she didn't show Mom when she asked to see. By not showing her, Ashley is incriminating herself. They're gonna figure something's going on. She flat out refused to show them. If it was some normal scratch, it wouldn't have been that big of a deal. So something's up.

I think she did it on her right wrist on purpose, so they wouldn't see it when we're at dinner, as they sit to her right. I happened to see it because I sit to her left. But it would make more sense for her to cut her left arm because she's right handed. Why I'm even thinking of this is beyond me.

We went to the fireworks show, and Ashley and her little friend Amy were talking about it. So Amy knows. So on the way home, I asked her about the "scratches" and she wanted to know why I wanted to know. She finally gave in, saying it was a way of relieving stress when she couldn't get ahold of alcohol or anything else to numb her. I guess she's been having a lot of stress with one of the managers at work. I asked if maybe she thought she needed a new job. No, just a new manager.

She said last night when she was crying because of getting a written warning at work was the first time she'd cried since Grandpa Dodson died at the beginning of last September. That she couldn't even cry in junior high when our friend Matt died in a car accident. I told her maybe she needed to cry more if she needed to relieve stress. She says she just can't cry. And it pisses her off. She can cry at movies and while reading books and at stupid things, but she couldn't cry when a good friend died.

God. That's got to be hard. I have no idea how that feels. I cry all the time. Seriously. I'm just really emotional. It's not like a big drama fest or anything when I'm crying. No sobbing, no wailing...just tears. But I do cry, and I let out my stress. I told her maybe she should start going to the gym as a way to relieve stress. She's going to be in a Wellness class soon, anyway.

I don't know. It just scares me to think that when booze and weed aren't enough, and she has to start cutting her skin as a way to relieve stress. I guess I just don't know what's so stressful in her life that's causing this. I think I might need to talk to her more about her life and see what's going on. This scares me. She's not suicidal, I know that, and she told me that. But cutting? Arg. I hope this doesn't continue.

If any of my readers out there are religious, could you please pray for my sister? I don't want her to end up doing anything worse than what she is now. I want her to be happy with her job and her life. She deserves better than that. She's a good kid. A little mixed up, but a good kid, nonetheless. Thanks for any support out there.

Sunday, July 04, 2004

rain

Well, we've been getting a few light sprinkles, and some heavy downpours for the last couple of days every day. This is really good for us 'cause it's so freakin' dry out here.

Not that anything's looking more green than it was before, but at least it's not so darn dusty around here.

Not sure what I'm doing for my 4th of July. I think Lance and I might sit out at the Camplex and watch the fireworks from the parking lot if it's not raining...like it is now. But I don't think it will be.

Well, she's doing it again. She's STILL thinking of taking him back. She said to me last night though, that she's not sure if she really does love him. Maybe it was just an infatuation. And that he's still lying to her, even though they're broken up. I'm glad she's starting to realize that this is a trend that he will always and forever be doing. You can't have a relationship like that. But she said that if he'd been with a certain amount of girls by the end of summer, she wasn't going to get back together with him. Hun...I think the number he's at is plenty already for you to decide that. But that's just me. Ugh, I don't know. I'm glad she's finally starting to see a little of what we see...Maybe that will help.

Saturday, July 03, 2004

Well, I had to drag my ass out of bed this morning by 7 so I could get to work at a reasonable time. Boss man decided that after an hour, we didn't have enough people coming in to get their oil changed, so he sent us all home. I think we had five cars come in the first hour. That was it. Then he closed the shop and sent us packing. The stupid thing is that he should have opened the shop at 1pm or something because there was the 4th of July parade going on downtown this summer, so I don't think a lot of people are going to bring their cars in at that point in time to get their oil changed. Who knows.

So that was kinda nice, except for the fact that I didn't work on Wednesday so that I could work Saturday...so now I'm short 7 or 8 hours.

So I get home, help Dad take the front door out to the garage 'cause he's repainting it, dinked around in there for a while while he painted, ummm, then I helped him set up the tractor so that I could mow the lawn. We haven't had a lot of rain this summer, and we just have prairie grass for our lawn, so we don't bother to water it, so this is the first time it'd been mowed all summer. Then after that Mom, Ashley, and I watched the Celebrity Poker Championship on BRAVO. It was really captivating lol. Sadly. Then I spotted some weiner dogs running through our back yard chasing a rabbit, so I found them, Mom brought them some water, Dad figured out whose they were, even though they didn't have collars. We called their owners and waited for them to pick up their escapees, then we got a nice big rain storm and a TINY bit of hail. I was a little scared it was going to get bigger and my car was going to be more dented than it already is.

Friday, July 02, 2004

Kill me now

Today was a rough day at work. I wasn't mentally there half the time. Every time I thought I was on the ball and caught up, something would happen in the office that would take me some time to fix/do and I'd miss a car getting into the garage, so they wouldn't have the information for it like they were supposed to, and that happened a few times during the day. It was frustrating, and I was really glad when the day was over.

Also, it started raining near the end of the day, so less cars came in, thank goodness, but we were BUSY. We got over 120 cars through today. I think the most we've ever pushed through is 140some, but I wasn't working there at the time, so to me, this was the busiest we've ever been. Ugh. Ken, the owner, told me I was doing a good job today, so that made me feel better about being braindead today.

We (Mom, Dad, and I) went to Las Margaritas tonight for dinner. They had us sitting at a table that could be used for a family of four, or pushed together with another table to accomodate more. Well, the owner had forgotten they had a reservation for that area, so he had to move us after we'd already got our drinks and chips and salsa, so he promised us free desert. 'Twas yummy.

Dad had some to drink before we went, so he let Mom drive on the way there. I had complained about the interstate being covered in standing water, which is why I'd taken the old highway home from work, so Mom said that she'd have some liquor in her after dinner, so I could drive home. So the closer and closer we get to home, the more Mom starts pretending to nitpick about my driving. "Don't go over those railroad tracks at 40 miles an hour, now!" Then Dad tells me that "anything over 50mph is okay." So I'd drive in the other lane going around corners, or not, just on straight roads, and I'd swerve at things that weren't there, or brake really hard. Mom kept telling me to watch out for things, so I'd pretend to aim for mailboxes and stuff down the road. Then we got to the driveway, so I went really fast through the puddles to make sure they'd splash on her car, and then she told me not to park crooked in the garage, so of course I did. She's practically on Dad's side of the garage. HAHAHA. Then she called me an "evil bitch."

Dad's listening to the Traveling Willburrys in the living room. I love these guys.

I'm so incredibly tired. I could fall asleep right here. At not even 9pm. Sheesh.

Sleep sweet sleep

Wes called me at 1 o'clock this morning 'cause he said he would after he and Darrell got back from Spiderman 2 (again). Usually I wake up for those, but not last night...I didn't even hear the phone ring. It was rather nice, really, didn't have to wake up in the middle of the night for a phone call, even though it was Wes. We wouldn't have talked very long, is the thing.

After we had the conversation about what bothers us about the other while we're on the phone, we haven't had a grouchy conversation yet. I'm glad we did it.

Dad got a new phone for the kitchen since the old one broke. He's quite proud of it because when you hit the "page" button to find the handset, not only does the handset beep at you, the antenna lights up. He kept showing it off to me last night, even though I'd seen it like, 3 times before. Old people are funny.

Dad's trying to get tickets or something to see Jalan Crossland in Ten Sleep over the weekend of the 14th-15th of August, which is when Wes will be here, and he and Mom are going to be camping, so that means Wes and I WILL have a night or two to spend together without the parents around. That will be nice, since he's only going to be here for a few days.

I bought some clear flavored soda at Wal*Mart on Wednesday. My sister keeps drinking the fucking stuff because she thinks that Dad's going to pay me back for it, but I never asked him to, but she's STILL DRINKING IT. Grrr. She needs to stop that right now. And to top it off, she doesn't even finish a whole bottle of it!! I woke up this morning to find a bottle, open, on the kitchen table, with some soda still in it. WTF?

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Work

Well, I didn't get to sit down ONCE today at work, which was quite unusual, since I always try to sneak in a "sit down" when we're not busy. Thing was, we weren't ever not busy today, and Ken, the boss and owner of the shop was in all day today.

The reason he was in all day today was 'cause Cheri was sent home due to the fact that she's too pregnant. There's a lot of heavy lifting to do, and she won't let other people do it for her, she just goes and does it and we have to stop her from it, so Ken just "suggested" (I think) that she not come in anymore and wait for the baby because she's due in a couple weeks. So yeah, that sucked, 'cause I really liked Cheri, even though I hear a lot of the people who worked there didn't like her. But I thought she was great. Probably 'cause we're really close in age, I think had a lot to do with it.

I got to play manager today since Cheri's gone. We were out of $1s and $10s and quarters, so I got to write up the little slip, get money out of the cash register, and give it to Nicole and tell her we needed money. Felt so "managerial." hehehe.

Some guy came in to get his oil changed. When I walked up to the truck, he had a check written out to us, with the date, plus his mileage, and signed, the old sticker, and two $5 bills and told me, "Here, get a soda for everyone." So later on in the day, I got to walk around and hand everyone a dollar in quarters. "A dollar for you. And you. And one for you." It was a cheery feeling. (Because it wasn't my money, and I got to keep the extra. MUWAhahahahaha!)